3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
