We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I fill condoms, not promises.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
