I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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