Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Randomize
