then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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