After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This house was built for laser tag.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
