remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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