Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize