I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
