i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
