please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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