and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
