So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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