ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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