My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
