I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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