i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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