He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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