Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
even my farts smell like vagina
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
