I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize