Yo dont text me then not text me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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