i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
