At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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