Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
