First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
