I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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