wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dignity is for republicans.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
