i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
