it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
