how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
