Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
