just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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