That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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