Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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