I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
