It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
