Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
