he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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