I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pants are for mortals
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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