it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
