i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
