a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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