So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize