Me too!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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