Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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