haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
