none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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