the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
where am i from again
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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