Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
