Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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