My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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