ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize