so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
