I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
