the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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