its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
