I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
