shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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