and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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