I accidentally had phone sex last night
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
