I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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