You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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