I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
