Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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