It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize