Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
