therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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