pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
