Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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