I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
