i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
