it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
thus making me awesome and them whores
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
