No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
