I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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