You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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