I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
